But since we’re not used to functioning with such a usefully black and white mind, we’ve learned over the years to substitute “belief” for knowing and “doubt” for not knowing, and then rocking back and forth between the two depending on our state of mind in the moment. In any given circumstance, I know or I don’t know – no doubt or excess thinking required. The “shadow of a doubt” is just the shadow of our thinking. And to claim to know anything “beyond a shadow of a doubt” was to claim a kind of infallibility that’s generally the domain of the charlatan or zealot.īut on reflection, I realized something breathtakingly simple:ĭoubt is the opposite of belief, not of knowing. It seemed to me to have a bit of wisdom built into it – a sort of a safety mechanism to make sure that even when we swallow the fish whole we don’t forget to spit out the bones after.

His comment threw me, as I realized I had doubt in a different box in my mind than other feelings that I know come and go with my thinking. While this was apparent to me, I was struck by a comment made by one of my co-presenters, Dicken Bettinger, who pointed out that doubt was just like insecurity – a symptom of a low mood and not something that needed to be taken to heart or used as a reason to seriously question your inner knowing. And uncertainty without the addition of insecure thinking is just a game of constantly emerging possibilities. Since returning home I’ve gotten to bask in these deeper feelings but I’ve also seen something new about the nature of doubt that has me questioning some of my longest held beliefs about it…Īfter a dialogue about the ever-changing landscape of their work environment, a participant said “I guess I’m just going to have to accept that insecurity is a part of my job.” I pointed out that what they would probably benefit from accepting was the uncertainty that came with their job, but that insecurity comes and goes with thought, independent of what’s going on at work.

The constant love, impersonal but tangible, that begins to fill us up and overflow onto the world when the constant variable of thought begins to fade into the background.

The silence of the deeper mind that all our thoughts arise inside of.

The nature of the beautiful feeling of spaciousness and expansive aliveness that is always present underneath the rollercoaster of emotions that come with our habitual, conditioned thinking.

We essentially focused on three things during our time together: Our recent Silent Mind/Beautiful Feeling retreat was a great example of that. Not only does it feel wonderful, but I inevitably have insights and fresh thinking for weeks and sometimes months afterwards. Granted it’s different from the front of the room, but the essential elements – time away from everyday routine, the invitation/excuse to step away from my everyday thinking, and the chance to dive deep into the stillness of the space within are precious to me. One of the things I love about running retreats is that I get to go on them as well.

Shadows of doubt even